Tag Archives: love

Love Endures

Tell me when autumn comes
For I must leave, you see
Tell me when the first leaf falls
For I must set you free
Tell me when the rose withers on its thorned crown
For when the rose has lost its hue I cannot comfort thee.

I leave though I am pained at thoughts
Of seeing you no more
I leave though grieved I am at circumstances
That carry me off shore.

Oh, tell me now, before I go
That you still love me so
Tell me, quick, as winter nears
That your love shall endure.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA


Rue my heart

Upon my constitution, around the house I strode
And saw with much disturbance, the stone ’twas cracked, and more.
I followed it for long it was,
No rest was to be shown
How came this crack unto my home
and why so very long?
Are there not better things to do
than break my house of stone?
No answer came my way
And none did I expect
For rue my heart the crack did show
To break my own sweet breast.


I cannot end these tears

why so my heart breaking
why do these tears come tumbling
flooding my soul
why must I feel so empty

oh lord, why am I so adrift, disconsolate
cannot just one thing in this universe make me whole
must I search till my heart breaks for finding nothing to replace the one being
that made my life whole
I cannot end these tears
there is no reason nor recourse for the tale that echoes forth
I have but solitude to seek and in that state I would find a glimmer of my former self
I am hyperbole and so inclined to meaningless allusions
I am a fragment of what you see
and inclined to be nothing more than the wind
and more a figment than truth
I am reality, but only in that fantasy that we perforce seek to surrender ourselves.
oh god, must I be this
I should drown in sorrow before I regain a spectrum of humanity
that this humanity be but wind and water, both gone and vanished into the air
I am but soiled in how I did regard the hearts of others
and yet I would relive these sorrows were you to let me pass to worlds that would divine the beauty of the world to come.
Let so my passage be, and to this I would incline my one true heart
to meet that heart I know does await, if not one true love, than one I should love, and with your will
I truly set my soul to be the keeper of this trust, to that I do compel myself
to fail thee not in this endeavor.


I remember…

How quiet he is.
In death as in life.
Soft, smooth, once warm, now cold and stiff.
Gone my love. Gone my long companion of days adrift and nights awake.
Gone now, gone forever, three feet down, an amendment to the soil.

To mask my pain and ask forgiveness.
What life did you lead. Were you served well, you who bent your head and body to my will.

I did ignore. I did. I remember well.

Soft, my boy, soft next to me, so easy to put aside.
To gather back those times, the endless repetition of a life’s attitudes, changed never, repentant forever. Time finite. Time infinity.

You left, and I sit, shocked that 16 years passed before me, unnoticed.
Asleep in your place on the floor, the discomfort comforts. The last sleep and weariness of each day blurs my mind of thought and emotion. Kept at bay, I exist.


Love gone, lone death, lost again

I turn and he is not here
Cannot remember
I stumble time, time and again, the memory jolts me awake
He is not here.

So why I, in pain, do I return home?
Is the bother of living worthwhile?
Cannot you see that all is misplaced?
If not for him, then why?
Myself, I am obscure, irrelevant.
Contributions to the face of man escape the scribe’s pen

Will time erase the pointlessness of days passed in dreary acquiescence?
Pain dulled by daily drink
Drunk by noon-day light
Slumbering till morning light
Pretending that day is night.

Why is existence so perverse that life cannot itself erase
stupidity of man’s footfalls
that deemed by others are acquired of gifts and glories
not deserved
And go beyond the grave
Imbued by all to be the virgin’s gift of glory everlasting?

Wronged, wronged, forever wronged!
Downed, screaming wronged!
Break my soul that I should live beyond this day, this time
Knowing misery creeping through life’s decay
of mind and spirit. Of rot and putrification.

Take kindly or not at all
In this, in that
Your mind it would collapse
But for the curtain drawn and closed
The daily play that would unfold
Is shuttered under hasp.


A thousand cuts

Death by a thousand cuts.
A sweet and gentle wish that you would soon reply
to worried inquiries about your health and happiness.
No one would write as you have done without a fearsome demon lapping at mind, souls’ edge.
Take care, and know that someone waits to wrest those demons, ease a heart constrained by hands unseen, by misconceptions of a life’s reward, of waiting for release from things you were always free from
And so you know I wish to hear your plaintive tones against the winds of nature spread so softly that I would even tread to heaven to release you.


Life, filled with discord

Oh Jane.
Your life, filled with discord, rolls by
A paranoia unprotected
Your life
So convoluted you cannot know
What pain is real and what is not.

Jane, you are a true and beauteous moment
Of god’s own glory and nature’s bliss
Of loves’ lost and loves’ awaiting mist
Of minds beliefs and minds believing grist

You can surrender, though you would not admit
What your own mind tricked to assist
The venomous regions
Of life’s beguiling twists
That you alone have seen the coming end
Of wife and husband
No love, I can assure.


Your name, insane!

Oh Jane!
Insane!
Each time he writes your name
His heart beats out a flame!

A fire in his loin
A flutter that doth spawn
A rare a beauteous morn
Awakening of dawn
A veritable display
Of nature’s way to say
Good day!

But lo!
The day draws quick
The spirits unrestrained
Return to rue the day
That turns itself to night,
And man’s abode abides
With heartfelt feelings more.
This day we have adored!


Oh sweet! Oh soft!

Love, sweet, soft, gentle wind
Swept across my proffered cheeks
Heady love, a sweet, sweet wine
Cloves and nutmeg
A mead to mine
Own love, I do profess
To love and never to regret
That you I held to heart, to breast
That you I loved the very best.


for love

I long for love to linger on the breath I take, take swept away, swept under and around, through limbs and branches, fallen as the leaves of autumn, woven through the white of winter.


Empty, guiltless, liar

I was a ghost
This emptiness
There is no reason for it
I will love you till my body is ash. From it I came, and to the end I shall be.

Do you love?
Corrupted, you deign to protect
Against my enemies.
You say you would die for love
But you know nothing of love.
You have cheated and lied to four women.

Peace is for the women and the weak.
Agamemnon, Menelaus, victors of Ilium,
Trojans at their feet,
Slavery of their women,
Murderers of the child prince Astyanax,
What humiliation to your soul;
Your mother would deride your actions.
Brought to this world, imbued with humanity, imprinted with morality
Could you but cast aside a parents’ teachings, a worldliness, a decency?
Their’s was a lesson you unlearned, a rightness to your kin, a kindness to womankind
Your needs are not alone the ones to be fulfilled
Others cast off and trodden upon
You are despised and despicable in eyes that thought you better.

Your flesh, a venue of pleasure, is marked and barren of humanity
Ungodly actions, unmanly and no less unwomanly
You are rank, the evil seeping through your pores.

What ails thee?
Lifeless, brainless?
Devoid of conscience?
Guilt is not enough.
Past pleasures mire you in temptation.
Your world is more than you
Yet you deny it, resolved to only satisfy the one.

Long dead your heart, no matter your mighty protestations.


father of your heart

A dad is a father. A father of your heart, a bastion of your dreams, a stalwart of your beliefs. My father is the one I loved, to hold me in my times of need, to comfort all life’s cruel injustices.
Oh god, how have I failed! My father is deceased and I have not rendered him his worth, his truth, his justice. I am unconsoled, for no other knows my failure. Remiss in this life, will I pay for it in another? Can you degrade a father, diminish his worth, devalue his existence? Shall I genuflect? Oh God, should I but honor his life, would I release the longing in me that prevents it, the need to tear apart his self, for his was a betrayal of mine, a denial of another’s life. Forgive me, padre, abba, father of my dreams. How often have I longed for your attention, and fear prevented me from asking, do you love me? Do you know I exist? Do you know I need you? I am but a frail child, alone, adrift, filled with self-loathing for being unloved. And you, yourself unloved, how could you know this? Were we not the same? Alone, apart, we could not touch, there was nothing to say. Controlled by others, by our concepts of others, by our convictions of others deeds, we were silent. How I longed to hear your voice in concert with mine. Would we not have been so perfect, a perfection to God, an understanding between father and daughter? You have betrayed me as much as I you. Strike me, strike me dead that I may know the pain that crossed your path, that ate your soul, that forced you from forgiving those around you. Love I have now, as then, but I would not tell. Can love be hidden so long without it bleeding? So dark is the blood of my tears I cannot tell you the horror it sees, the pain of centuries of unforgiving. Why cry? Ask yourself a thousand times. And a thousand more, for it is a waste of time to think there will be an answer.


Love lust


You watch as he pushes—up, down, up, down—repetitive movements—each time the arm and shoulder muscles define into chiseled shapes, then soften; a form without excess—solid—chest, arm, head, neck, torso, thighs, calves—solid. You, 20 feet from him, think of those enveloping arms as he thrusts into you. His breath, even and paced, as he enters his love, his muscles hard and then a glimmer of sweat and breath quickens as he pushes his arms into the bed—you underneath—this massive solid structure that could crush you, slowly eases down and presses his head into your shoulder with soft murmurs of thanks. You breathe in his scent even as he breathes yours, for what else in this kingdom smells as fragrant as a man after making love?
What defines that first attraction—the musculature, posture, stance, sway of his hips? Is it the smile, voice, eyes? Just the idea of the tips of his fingers grazing your skin, his hand lighting on your shoulder. Is it the color of his skin—warm brown—soft white? Is it the fit of his clothes” Or the memory of lovers past?
And what is repulsive? Body art? Excessive flesh? A body too well fed? And age—both repulsive and attractive. Youth that thinks too much of itself, age that has not accepted itself. A grace of time upon your face, a joy of each hour in your life. So I search for your pleasure in this passing existence.
The curves of woman can be as seductive as of a man. Nay, even twice as. To touch such flesh (without being touched back) is as exciting as the idea of being touched (without touching.) What is it to see pleasure in another’s eyes that derives from you? Your very existence is validated, your life expunged of all wrongs and evils by the pleasure your presence gives another.
A life of too few joys. His flesh caresses mine, soft sensuality weeps to my heart. A presence against me, I am succored by him in sleep, in dreams I avail myself of all he is willing to offer and will deny him nothing. So I am whole, so I am one.


Then love me

Did you not know me?
Then how could you love me
Who was I that you loved without knowing who I was
Without knowing what I was
Was it because I knew not myself
Not who or what or why I was
Not when or how or if I was
And so to love what is not is possible
Open, undefined, unconfined
Is all that is not
Take it and let it go
It is the sustenance of life


the longings of my life

All the longings of my life
reflected on your body
When did you leave me?
You would say I left you.
When did my life turn into one. long, run-on sentence?
Let me see your body and pieces of your life together.

Your life. A smile deceitful.
Standing next to Her.
No love.
Can I see it?
No.

I see what you desire of the camera.
Appearances intact.
Of life divine.
You languish on the limbs of barren branches.
Trees devoid of life.
Humbled.
Waiting.

I wait.
I have always waited.
In the back roads of your life.
A movement, a shadow.
My ghosts have haunted
Threads of time
Behind the eye I move
Between the cones and rods
A darkness clouds the vision
A faltering step and all is lost.

Do you wonder what control is
What it is to lose it?
Control is the conformity you align yourself to
The role your family plays in contorting you
Their vision.

Would I be a murderer just to find myself
Allow a luxury of self-indulgence?
A surfeit of needs exploding?

Revenge.
Behind the eyes it is shuttered.
Oh God, how it festered.
Without the light it rots
A mold, exquisite in its putrid transformation
A pus, of green and yellow
An ochre.
The colors of earth in shades of abomination.

Sing to me
Sing of death, of threads cut
Knots loosed
A tune off-key
Song of God
Son of God
God willing
God able
Oh, sing of God
And through God of life
Extended
Eternal
And through God of death
Everlasting
And through God of love
Requited.

Love
To touch
My mind to yours
My body desires.

Where am I as I fall asleep, in God where am I
In tears that are not wet
In grief that is not borne
In terror of my life.
In nothingness.


Love, beloved

It is about love. To wake up and feel warm, a warmth only bestowed by a beloved, the one who lies next to you, though still asleep as you leave that bed, that haven in the night, that place of repose, of comfort and consolation, of quiet both mental and physical, to beat the morning light, to challenge the day anew.

It is love you want, I want. More easily given when gotten, bestowed on the bestower, revealed to the revealer. Love me and I will surely love you. How I can, how can I not help but love you, creature of my soul, whisperer of my dreams, husband of my heart. There is no band upon my finger that could bind as hard as that which lies within me. Is that not the greatest test? Can a sheaf of paper have locks and keys more quick than my soul? A soul, a heart, a dream, all you are to me and I to you, all that life is meant to be, cannot be shoved into a drawer, confined, relegated to be filed away, meaningless if its signers have given up, acquired disdain and disregard. If the paper has more import than the love it meant to bond.


the door that opens and breathes

And so another week is past and with it comes a return to a way of life that was quickly diminishing in reality. Adaptability is so deceiving. A species that can close the mind to pain as well as pleasure, can start from dawn as though none else existed. Who am I that I can toss off one life easily, cavalierly falling into step with another, chasing ghosts and dreams simultaneously? Would I give up everything to be warm? I would. The pain of cold lives in my mind, the door that opens and breathes in the morning air, a chill of October reminiscent of November. Long winters looming, with empty beds and firewood to be hauled. Can I remember being a child? I have dreams of fulfillment, of a life rich with love and meaning. Tears well when I wake. Who is this person whose life in sleep is sweeter than the life awake? Oh to reenter one’s dreams, to live there forever. Are there others of my ilk?

What we do is superfluous, destructive to wellbeing, beyond a genetic need of survival, a crime of humanity, a crime of environment, a crime of God. Belief is unnecessary to comprehend the crimes committed. You understand yourself as criminal, conspirator, rapist and raptor, devourer and devoured.

Flesh laid open, a feast fetid with generations of flys, maggots, larvae, bones of the dead reaching to draw you nearer. Bones of the living, rotten flesh, your nightmare borne of reality. Eaten even as you live, segments wasting away before eyes laid hollow from multitudes of lies, deceit, denials.

How do we fill our lives, and as we fill them, do we deny the existence of others unable to participate in the frivolity of our existence? Even this, even now, even I conspire to forget. I forge an existence made of vapors. Thus I render myself untouchable. But I am made of this place and am dependent for my needs. Were I to fly free, where would I go? Were I to be free, what would I do? Were I to understand that I am already free, would anything change? How am I so useless? Is it by comparison? Can I say, “I did not do that, therefore I am nothing?” Or, “Look at his/her accomplishments—they are not mine—I am nothing.” What I have done, what I can do, I see as being selfish and useless, of no consequence to a world peopled with pain, parented by hunger, housed by the homeless. I am the rain that breaks the dam, flooding the lands, being cursed by the righteous and the damned. I am the mid-day sun, parching the field destroying the crops, killing the inhabitants as I consume the earth. Where is my beauty, the smile of my youth? Buried. Buried six feet, with earth and stone upon my grave, unknown in death as in life. Why do you visit him? You have loved him as did I. But I know it is pointless, this ritual of burial, this memorial of headstone. And so what first I did not do out of confusion, I now will not do out of grief and guilt.


My dearest Love,

When have I ever said my dearest Love.

If I have not, it has has been my misfortune, for you are, indeed, a person who makes my heart race, my mind do double takes, my sense of reality check itself at the door, along with a great deal of self-recrimination, though God knows, it is not my conscience that has been challenged.

Love, talk of love, and one talks of a life of longing, a list of desires, a looking for a hero, a stanchion in a world of crumbling realities, a heart in search of itself, a physicality created by mind, body and soul, of human warmth, both mental and physical, and trust, the ultimate in human recognition, of lasting connection, of one’s desires so intimately entwined with another’s that you would will your life to their’s.

And so with all the love, and hope, and warmth and human understanding, the desires of years past, the thoughts of time not taken, of life lost and lust surrendered, such that can be relinquished is done willingly, with expectation that this will not be cast asunder, abused or discarded.

It was a day of fleeting remembrances, of flights of fancy, of leaps of love, of leaves of longing, and in its wake, a hope that another is to be.


fatal power

Love is a fatal power
Swallowing whole your immortal soul
Love is an infinite world
Leading you through the garden’s gate
Love is a grandiose game
Playing the strings of your heart
Love is your one true friend
Lighting the depths of your firePA250242+2


are you not

Cuddle. Hug. Cry on a shoulder. Repent. Say you’re sorry. Admit foolishness. Admit stupidity. Admit ignorance. Admit uselessness. Defenselessness. Loneliness. Sheer terror at living. Neediness. Needing someone. Never ending feeling of isolation. Fear of contact. Fear of friendship. Fear of existence. Paranoia, sadness. heartMissing. Missing what. Missing missing. Wishing you were missing and could never be found. Hiding. Hiding without ever being found. Found out. Who you are not. Not who you are. Why you are not who others think you are. When you don’t even know who you are but that you are not the person others think you are.


Hiking Hammonds

Appalachian Trail, Pacific Crest Trail, Continental Divide Trail, and Beyond

Creative Fidget

Two sides of God (dog)

Longreads

The best longform stories on the web

Travels with Choppy

A dog and cat in clothing. Puns. Travel. Bacon. Not necessarily in that order.

Hiking Girl with Dog

Dog-friendly adventure guides and gear reviews

Learning from Dogs

Dogs are animals of integrity. We have much to learn from them.

David Tirpak

@DavidTheDogTrainer

The Domestic Man

Gluten-free recipes, inspired by traditional & international cuisines.

Meg Travels

mostly sunny adventures

pawedblog

Tails and Titbits from the house of Pawed

The Thinking Dog

Meet dogs who think, problem-solve, and teach humans a thing or two!

Oslo the Dog

Oslo hunden

Feeding Squirrels On My Way To Work

Somehow, this all fits together

Nature Diary

Notes from the field, essays, and observations.

Who Let The Dogs Out? Oslo Hundelufting

Exploring and Adventuring since 2013

Pictures from Everyday Life

Just another WordPress.com site

DoggyMom.com

The blog about everything dog

Nikitaland

A Day in the Life of a Dog Named Nikita

Little Dogs Laughed

Art. Photography. Arf.

Two Black Dogs

...and other things I love

MyPositiveDogTrainingBlog

....helping dogs by helping people

The right profile

Merseyside photographer and blogger

Easy Blog

All about our truly best friend...

Saunsea

A community for people who want to solve global problems and set our world free from needless suffering.

frugalfeeding

n. frugality; the quality of being economical with money or food.

Everyday Adventures in Havachon Heaven

The Good, Crazy, & Adorable Life of One Havachon Puppy

ipledgeafallegiance

When will we ever learn?: Common sense and nonsense about today's public schools in America.

veggiezest

Vegan & Vegetarian recipes from around the world

The Order of the Good Death

Two sides of God (dog)

Garden Variety

A Gardening, Outdoor Lifestyle and Organic Food & Drink Blog

Lessons Learned from the Flock

Life raising children and chickens in New Hampshire

jaspersdoggyworld

Adventures of a Maremma dog

thek9harperlee

Reflections of a Golden Retriever Named Harper Lee

Geometry & Silence

Photography by Quintin Lake

localkitchen.wordpress.com/

Local cooking and eating in New York's Hudson Valley.

Cooking in Sens

Living, Drinking and Eating in Burgundy

List of X

This Blog Is Not Recommended By WordPress

allmycaninecompanions

Canine Behavior & Training, Board and Train, Seminars, Private Lessons

Wonderful Cinema

Short reviews on high quality films. No spoilers.

BookPeople

Howdy! We're the largest independent bookstore in Texas. This is our blog.