Category Archives: humor

Once A Year

Snow.
Another foot or so.
And after you have shoveled
The winds begin to blow.
But night has overwhelmed you and so to sleep you go.

Cradled in your bed, fits of dreams begin
Until the nightmare shakes you
And wide awake you scream.
For all your work has come to naught, nay sorry this I say
The foot of snow that yesterday was cleared with force so fierce
Has come to haunt your every joint
And break you piece by piece.


The Beetle and the Gnat

“The sand is very sandy,” said the beetle to the gnat.
“Well that’s a very silly thing, for everyone knows that,”
The gnat retorted to the beetle, who’d dug a beautiful hole
At the very very very edge
Where the ocean had taken hold
And filled the hole far sooner than he ever could have told.

The beetle stood so very still and then began to cry.
Seeing such great sadness, the gnat thought to reply,
“I’ll help you dig another, if you’ll only let me try.”
For the gnat was very sorry for the beetle’s predicament
When faced with miles of sand, just where should he begin?
Why, by the boardwalk! Yes of course, the gnat decided so
They took their shovels and their pails and began to heave and throw
The sand into the air, where it landed in a pile
And grew so tall it seemed to them to be a hundred miles.

It grew and grew until the sun disappeared from view
It grew and grew till moon and stars could not be seen, tis true!
So dig they did for several months
Till England’s shores were seen
And France was next
And Italy
So far away from home
That soon the two unhappy souls put down their pails and hoes.

“A hotdog I would like right now,” said the beetle to the gnat.
“Oh do put on some sauerkraut,” and with that the gnat did shout
“But they are far away, you know, on the ocean’s other side,
Where first we started shoveling,” and both sat down to cry.

“I wish the stars and moon would shine their brilliant, dazzling light,”
“I wish we’d never dug a hole before thinking what was right,
For had I thought ahead back then I’d never have proceeded
To dig so much and so obscure the light I cherished near us.”

The beetle did agree with this, and thought it could be righted
So in the night they blew and blew,
The sand fell left and right
And in a day or two or more
The stars began to shine
And soon the sun did light the dawn and with this they did smile.
“Let’s just hold hands, sit down again, and dream of piles of sand!”

©2016 Ellen Kostroff


Oh GSD! How I Love You! said the Weimaraner

 

weimeramer&GSD
The Weimaraner and the German shepherd were the very best of friends
Hand in hand they strolled the land, far and wide through forest glens.
Then one fine day, from east to west, as clear a day could be,
Something, unbeknownst to them, was decidedly not right
And being very fearful, they fell into a fright.
“If you so please, and if you might, look far into the distance.”
And the Weimaraner huffed and puffed, as he spoke with much insistence.
Now the German shepherd, young and foolish, took care to do what pleased
So carefully she turned her head, as she began to sneeze
For she was prone, as you must know, to various reactions
And even with the right precautions
Her nose began to quiver, her body shook and quaked
Her head went back, her legs a jumble, and quick as be began to tumble,
Rolling past the Weimaraner, fast as a summer breeze.
“I say, that little gal of mine is getting rather sassy,”
Though none was there to hear or care, or his brilliant words to pass to.
His legs unfolded, and then his ears, and they began to flap,
Such a sight he was, as he flew past streams, and over the treetops,
For though they did intend to, without warning they did land too
Smack in the middle of a herd of cows, mooing softly while eating lunch,
Munching grass, so brilliantly green
With shades of chartreuse and violet, it seemed
That the cows were confused or possibly drunk
Though ranting and raving they were never mean,
But would stand and complain, in a long steady stream,
About family and friends and the Queen of England.
“It’s futile to talk to cows, and quite out of the question.”
So the friends declined, and in no time, slipped away with much discretion
As off they ran, hand in hand
Such a pair of friends you never saw
On to adventure, bound to explore
From the tip of Maine to the Florida Keys
And on to England and France if you please
With a stop in Amsterdam and Italy too,
They even ate chocolate in Belgium, it’s true,
Then back to the States for a loud how-DE-doo.
The Weimaraner and the Shepherd ran and ran with grace and with ease
Laughing with joy, and an occasional sneeze.

 
 

Happy Seasons and May Holiday Lights Glow So Bright!


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